I usually try to steer clear of the whole blog, whiny bitch "the world's against me" crap that overpopulates the internet nowadays, but this time, it's half justified.

I am seriously losing my faith in humanity, I don't know whether it was an MSN conversation where the guy I was talking to insisted on using "whu" instead of who or the events entailed in the stories that follow this sentence.

Story the 1st

"One fat man with a snooker cue and a bad attitude"

Last Wednesday me Ian, Matty and Gaz were in town, and said associates felt it necessary to comment on the pattern on my shoes, accusing it of being Burberry and calling me a chav, prompting great hilarity. This hilarity continued for about a minute, in which we entered an alley, at the other end of the alley was a fat man (perhaps a foot taller than me, and seriously hefty - he must have weighed 18 stone). We continued walking down the alley, laughing and joking at the hilarity that is my shoes, and the suspicious Burberry like pattern that adorns them. As we got to the fat man he decided it would be a good idea to slam into the one of us who was walking in front and ask him what the fuck we were looking at. I don't like to bring up the obvious, but if you're self conscious about your weight go on a diet you fat bastard, and if you object to being seen, stay fucking indoors where we don't have to see your ugly face. Besides that, we were looking straight forwards down a narrow alley, its not our fault the fat bastard filled it. To be truthful, the fat man did look dangerous.

Michael Jackson dangerous.

E-fit of Pool cue fatty:

Story end

Story the 2nd

"Hyperactive bitch and an abundance of crackers"

I was on the bus today, sat at the front (since by the time I get on that's all there is left, and Rory and Craig sit there) and I was growing increasingly agitated as a result of this bitch on my right and slightly behind me, throwing crackers at the guy who was on my right and just in front of me. This continued for about 10-15 minutes, with other people joining in throwing stuff at this guy. She was also noisy and offensive by the way. Anyway there I was sat, just watching him take it for all this time thinking somebody ought to do something about it. Then it occurred to me, I am somebody, I ought to do something. With all the stealth of a ninja, and the self conviction of Samuel L. Jackson I set to it, I reached for the largest segment of cracker, slid it over to me with my foot, proceeded to pick it up, crumbled it to dust with one hand, lent to the right and threw the cracker dust in the bitches face.

Then the bitch had the audacity to ask me what my problem is, hmm could it be the dog on my right shouting insults with all the coherency of a gorilla and pissing everyone on the bus off with her disregard for this guy she was throwing shit at? Anyway, I responded with "My problem - what's you're fucking problem, you dumbass", to which her response was to question my sexuality, and the size of my cock. Suffice to say, the next insult I was expecting was the underused "your mum" to be directed towards me. Basically, this got me to thinking whether it is justifiable to hit a girl, and I say no, although it is justifiable to hit an inbred retarded bitch who has no regard for anyone else.

E-fit on cracker bitch:

Story end

Recently I've been really unsociable and have come to the realisation that my life would be so much easier and the world would be so much better if there was a plague today, with only the elite (note - I decide who the elite are) surviving. Also, I swear to god, I think I should start a one man war on people who use "whu" instead of "who", its not fucking abbreviation for fucks sake!

To close, people suck and I hate the world. But what's new?