I went to see King Kong the other night and wow! This film is awesome! The start is really slow, and for 40+ mins I could feel my eyes drooping, then everything turned around. King Kong burst into the film, knocking about 5 people over just by landing near them, he then ravages an entire city because they haven't cooked his steaks medium rare.  His murderous rampage continues, until finally he meets his maker.

That's right, he is summoned to see God (who, confusingly enough, looked suspiciously like Peter Jackson). God is beside himself, saying how Kong was created to do good, blah blah blah. It was like Kong was thinking the same thing as me too, because just as it seemed Kong was bowing to apologise he lunged for Peter Jackson's throat and ripped it out, and then tore him limb from limb. Feeling like he has done everything, Kong then trains as a barrister, and fights criminals, rather than pterodactyl.

The weird thing is, no-one else in the cinema could recall the latter part of the movie, I guess they passed out from the level of extreme, lord knows I nearly did, luckily I had drunk about 5 litres of Blue Bear prior, as well as eating a Peperami Firestick.

True story.